I die for a sunny place

show me your face
i crave
flowers and gardens
open your lips
i crave
the taste of honey
come out from
behind the clouds
i desire a sunny face
your voice echoed
saying "leave me alone"
i wish to hear your voice
again saying "leave me alone"
i swear this city without you
is a prison
i am dying to get out
to roam in deserts and mountains
i am tired of
flimsy friends and
submissive companions
i die to walk with the brave
am blue hearing
nagging voices and meek cries
i desire loud music
drunken parties and
wild dance
one hand holding
a cup of wine
one hand caressing your hair
then dancing in orbital circle
that is what i yearn for
i can sing better than any nightingale
but because of
this city's freaks
i seal my lips
while my heart weeps
yesterday the wisest man
holding a lit lantern
in daylight
was searching around town saying
i am tired of
all these beasts and brutes
i seek
a true human
we have all looked
for one but
no one could be found
they said
yes he replied
but my search is
for the one
who cannot be found

~ Rumi

Baal

*venting..extra long poetic justice rant warning* 

beep. beep. beep. beep. beep......

Corporations are not people and even people don't have the right to fuck you up the ass on a gd holiday! A brand new customer who hadn't set up their bill payment system yet.. bill past due as of xmas day, 5 days later (1 after I returned home from the desert), the day before NYE, internet cuts out while I'm trying to pay it online!! there's an additional $5 charge to pay by phone and $25 to turn it back on?? No sir, that is not acceptable!! you do not get to fuck me over before I've even had a chance to log into my account. they bill for the upcoming month, not the month you've already received service so at 6 weeks my bill has 3 mo. of charges w/2 past due. I did not know this. golly fucking gee, now I do!! k can I take a shower now and check my email before my gig tomorrow? Nope, 24 hours to be restored. 

yay. still century link is better than wave. ISP's are not people and even people don't expect other people to pay future bills they don't know about on Dec. 30th!! why do we let them treat us this way? brand new customers?! they need to do a teddy bear cancer kid adopt-a-spca pony PR campaign asap because americans don't like bully bigot bastard politicians that fuck other women without their verbal consent so it's time we react to them as the terrorist holding our lives hostage with the shittiestly hostile customer service, excessive fees, dishonest deals that they truly are! (ever get a bill from an ISP that was for the same amount you were told it was going to be? never! always a promo or contract rate you weren't informed of plus a modem rental fee in this case $8 a month and it appears I have a 2 year contract I'm unaware of so total of $192 for a modem I still won't own that should only cost me like $39 one time payment if not complimentary) they should be throwing those modems off of floats at the rose bowl parade since they own the fucking stadiums! yeah, go Seahawks at the sold out Century Link field... Football, the most effective squirrel tangent ever built on the planet by the corporations holding us hostage through our smartphones, pc, hd tv's, and must go hoot and holler like we're not even people with the reasonable right to not be fucked while we're watching football games with our families for our one and only holiday from fighting for money all year long... even God takes the backseat to football on our supposed religious holiday which makes me wonder who the hell is running things since He used to not tolerate the worship and chanting of balls and Bulls if I remember my Bible studies..) even in times of war amongst nations fighting for the right to be free, people know how to lay it down one day a year in the name of good will. corporations have no good will towards men, no respect for God, no need to even say thanks for shopping with us happy holidays, go hawks :) smile and connect because they hold our connections hostage or so they think. 12th man should be yelling at God for dropping the ball in this game, I think. but that's just me.... let's go party and drink! 

happy new thing 🍻🔚

© asraiya 2014

Stay High

entirely all too familiar... wow
yup

Stop Usage Based Billing.. Net Neutrality NOW

I accidentally got a little behind on my Broadband bill because I was really broke for awhile but I worked really hard on getting some gigs and finally did accumulate what I thought was enough funds to knock the debt out before they shut me down which would officially make me dead in the water in a state worse than than starvation.. but when I opened up the bill from Wave expecting to see 3 mo of charges at my current rate of ($59.95 -25 off first 12 mo) $34.95 plus the $7.99 late fee times 2 months plus the $8 router rental fee which is just retarded because I don't need it, it just worked better for speeds on my where the router I already owned worked best for my phone/ipad/tablet etc so he left it saying it was free for the first 3 months... So although all these temporary introductory rates not being the official regular price for the service is disappointing and puts me in a slight perpetual fight or flight state knowing it will eventually escape to a rate that is beyond my means, I was however made aware it of course only after I agreed to an install appointment date. I highly appreciate being able to anticipate my bills and know how much work/gig/money I need to come up with, right? Well what I did not know is that my over priced service has a data transfer limit of 300 gb which I supposedly went over by 276 resulting in 2 monthly overage fees of an additional $60... So essentially I am paying $120 a month FOR ONLY INTERNET ~ CABLE NOT INCLUDED as a penalty for streaming Netflix instead of using their commercial ridden entertainment options!!??

The Fall

Feeling down and downright worthless atm.. Seeing online AraKus gearing up to do another big theater run with Aeterno, and all my circus friends plastered all over promo for Freaknight.. and here I am not booked for a single thing yet this month.. browsing Craigslist and all the casting calls for 18-25 yo actresses contemplating becoming an adult film star or work for an escort service since that's all I seem to qualify for. I've burnt all my bridges and been epically blacklisted all for what? For the chance to be loved? That didn't work out at all, it just tore me apart, and left me for dead....

So now dead I walk, breathe, and talk. I'm just a washed out has been. I may as well quit, give up, and be a drug addicted could have been but no such luck.

"At the Autumn Equinox, the time of balance between night and day, the initiate must arrive at a place of balance and from there descend."

~ The Path of the Spiritual Sun by Belsebuub & Angela Pritchard