Happens to me every time...

I can't believe I fall for it every single time no matter how many times it's happened before! I don't think I'll ever learn or not hope for once I've found a real catch and we obviously can't teach men how not to effect us like this.. So let's say a guy hasn't msg'd or been around for a few days leaving you wondering if he's moved as he certainly hasn't been thinking of you like you have been him.. then finally sends a text with:

What are you up to tonight?

I, or let's just say the girl, always reads this as if it says:

Sorry I've been busy, babe, but I intend to make it up to you. What are you doing tonight?

When what he's saying is nothing of the sort. In fact, he thinks he's is totally being cool and considerate by out of the blue engaging her with totally meaningless idle chit chat. Whatever you are up to that evening is of no real concern to him whatsoever as he's just hoping to engage her in a conversation on any sort of random topic that's NOT what he has been up to nor what he's actually doing himself that evening but he knows if he doesn't text her at all a 3rd night in a row she will certainly question his modus operandi as she'll want to know why he hasn't checked in. "What are you up to tonight?" isn't a date proposal as she delights in the notion of, he already has plans and he hoped that she has some herself by now so she's the one who's got a problem with fomo. She however has awaited this feeling of alas a lawless victory! So she responds with something cheerful and casual yet assumes the prize is in her bag:

Going crazy.. wanting to see you! Come watch that movie or do that thing you said earlier we'd do sometime this week and you have to work the rest of it other than tonight, right?

....

No response for a couple hours as he struggles with how he can possibly tell her the truth is he made plans with his bros he works with and sees every other day of the week on his one night off instead of meaning what he said he'd do. He simply though saying it would placate her and she'd get bored I guess and find someone else to help her with the task she only asked him to help her with as an excuse to spend some time being sweet to him.. Meanwhile she has proceeded to get into the shower or start making them both dinner or tidying up in prep for his imminent arrival he's only waiting to determine which bus he can catch before giving her an accurate eta... He responds off topic trying to turn that tactic into an 0 for 3 as successful stalling.

What time is your thing tomorrow?

9ish.

I'll try to make it but I have to switch my shift at work. 

 ....

 

You're not coming over tonight are you?

No...

Now she feels worse than she would have if she hadn't even heard from him instead of being lifted by her wishes, hopes, and spoken promises... and then dropped back down to Earth causing another crack to appear in her heart.

Are love spells bad if YOU don't cast them?

Here. It's just a sparkly fairy. What harm could a sparkly fairy be really? My first tattoo was a green fairy sitting on my shoulder. The root of my name is Asrai which are faeries that turn to water when captured. Reconciliation with a liar, huh? Is that what I really want? More than reconciliation I'd like an explanation, and most of all a proper good bye at the very least. I believe that anyone who has intimately bonded and shared love and special times with me owes me that much respect! I go kind of hysterical when partners fail to SEVER ties without ritual genuine closure. They're running around doing all kinds of things with strings still attached to me so I can feel all of it as if it's being blatantly done in front of my face intentionally to hurt and punish me for some wrong thing I didn't know I'd done... maddening!! Instead of a complete full circle feeling of surrender and cord cutting and being better off for the meeting and thankful for the gift of time and reflecting.

REUNITE. Or cut the cords with a face to face honest heart open truthful conversation, a few tears, a hug and good bye I'll love you always and someday be a good friend you know you can TRUST.

NOT a dick coward who was the only person I trusted said they loved me and yet bald face lied and betrayed me leaving me more damaged than I was before knowing your sweetness!

ALWAYS LEAVE A BLESSING!

Free Make Up Spells

Lastlight

if only I'd known it was my last I'd maybe done something different or at least breathed in the moment more fully...

It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white and grey

It's so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you
Circumstances affords me
No second chance to tell you
How much I've missed you

My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don't ask me why I'm here
Something deeper brought me
Than a need to remember

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keep us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still, greater things burned within us
I don't regret the choices that I've made
I know you feel the same

My beloved do you know
How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed as ours

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits

~VNV Nation

I'm claustrophobic..

..but more of people/energy than of objects or confined spaces. Might need a new word for that phobia now because science is finally starting to prove what I've been saying all along feeling crazy. I'm just a little ahead of the pack involuntarily such as I've had undeniable ESP capabilities since I was 6 yo. Anyway here, watch this!

 

lunatic pandemic

more conspiracy something.. won't insult science by using the word "theory" because this is pure lunacy! people will believe anything? it's completely baffles me. it's like they know change is coming or no.. it's like they're ready for a change, a very major change but they haven't realized yet that this change comes from within. they don't grok as above, so below. so they look up and so sincerely expect to see something off or unexpected and they welcome it because they really long for change but aren't willing to change their themselves nor the way they live so they expect some dumb comet, or planet, or mothership to come force them to evolve. can't wait til it's 2013 and everyone calls it y2kpsyche and laughs like they never believed it when the truth is change has come! you just create your own reality so if you're not willing to change you'll never see..

anyway about this video above.. page is full of people's comments about comet elenin (which is about 2-3 miles or kilometers wide max) is causing the moon to wobble or planet niburu is behind it and all that kind of shit. power of suggestion is potent. all of a sudden everyone else seems to recall having noticed it as well. no one mentions the fact that you can't see the ground to orientate your vantage point... yeah, fucking 2 second edit to flip a stupid video 90 degrees! really. easiest hoax in the whole entire known universe! what fools these mortals be