how to quickly get to know your date

This is going to sound pretty terrible to even suggest, but the best way to really get to know someone you're dating, and cut to the chase without having to go through months of politely getting to know them... 

..is to (accidentally) stand them up! 

Seriously, all the shit flies out in an instant! IF they handle it without losing their cool, AND they're willing to forgive you, you have got one good prospect on your hands and you should consider them a keeper. 

BUT if they behave as mine did who I did not actually intend to stand up and honestly thought had either not received my rendezvous instructions yet or was blowing me off.. but I care not to explain how his assumptions were incorrect (to him) because I realized by him absolutely jumping to conclusions and FREAKING OUT about it, he is not emotionally mature enough to date plus he apparently was dumped 2 days ago though we'd been talking to each other for over a week..? I'm not even sure how else to take his pity party over texting that's still continuing as we speak the day after other than "ba-bye"

What was the bang?

SO I WAS ASKED ~ 

  "And what brings you to tinder?  Conversation?  Friends?  Drinks?  Needing to bang one out?"

MY RESPONSE ~

Well first of all women don't EVER "need to bang one out" pretty sure that involves a penis, hand, and perhaps a porn pic or something to that extent? I wouldn't know.. but it sounds like a problem you guys are on your own with. 

Next I hardly think tinder would be a very good source for finding lasting friendship. Is there even such a thing as REAL friendship in the days of Facebook? I'm unsure. Seems some of my "friends" do indeed have friends they regularly spend time with and have known for many years. I have basically my family of friends who I mostly haven't seen in YEARS since they moved to the woods and starting raising hippie kids. Then I have a shit ton of acquaintances everywhere I go! I don't have single super close consistent friend who I frequently do things with, I'm independent but lonely in a crowd that I personally know half of. Would like one but....

Conversation, meh. Acquaintances and random stranger work fine for such stuff. 

 Drinks? Yes!

Now you left some options out if you can believe it. A fuck/get laid/hook up or anything but "bang one out" Not opposed after drinks perhaps see where it goes. 

And last, relationship. I know, I know, go ahead and chastise me back as I certainly deserve it after this novel reply... but I want one of those. So if the bang is worth a few bucks (ah!) NO.. if the chemistry is present, and there's intrigue, then the sex is spot on and other factors after that which is usually where everything goes horribly wrong but regardless it would be righteous if the sex became frequent and the company didn't suck too and became a healthy-ish habit etc etc. 

Happy? Have a good boom bang crackle woo k (July 4th)