Tinder turns men into morons

The perception that Tinder is for "hook ups" seems to turn men into boys at a all you can eat ice cream fudge sundae banana split bar until they fail to notice that they have become fat gross pigs OR reverts them back into virgins not knowing a single thing of how to handle an encounter with a potential sexual partner! Here's how I handled one of the later who after carefully picking a date and planning to spend an evening with me very patiently and gentlemanly decided to text me under an hour prior to arrival asking if I am clean or not and how do I feel about condoms?!

Lxxx, if you read my little profile bit you would see that I'm not looking for hook ups here at all! No one has any business enquiring of my cleanliness when they have never even laid eyes on me in person, that shouldn't even be a concern until you're at least within projectile body fluid landing range of them otherwise it's just plain impolite.. and asking me if I mind condoms before you've scored the first kiss is equally quite presumptuous even if I were entertaining for straight hook up purposes only because a passing a picture test doesn't mean you will turn me on.. it just means I'm willing to take a closer look and see if you smell good and are capable of carrying on a conversation and hang out and chill first.. then if that goes well enough after a few hours you should be able to tell if I'm interested in kissing you and if you that much well enough and I'm obviously not trying to make the kissing stop and appear to be a willingly passionate participant in having you all up in my grill invading my personal space, breathing the same air, exchanging spit, THEN you can ask about your dick and my disease status!! Got it??

Tinder is for starting a FIRE

Woah! A guy tried to confront me about my beef with kids saying I don't understand because once you have one they become you're everything... I said:

  I know. Maybe I want to be my partner's everything? I just had 2 really bad experiences with daddy's little princess and swore I would never do it again unless they're teenagers or young adults now and are already independent so I can be myself instead of a "role model". I'm down to be the cool aunt that takes them shopping at hot topics, provides the birth control and maybe a wine cooler but I'm really leery of the psycho ex who will never quite relinquish they're power over a man to manipulate him to do their bidding and remind me I will always be 3rd, 4th, or 5th on his list of priorities. I know that sounds selfish but I've seen way too many sad psycho dramas and I'm committed to living life to the fullest in the here and now and I'm not done yet! I live like there will be no tomorrow because there really actually might be no tomorrow! I can't pretend that society is good and healthy, that once you're 16 you get too get to drive an automobile, and if you get good grades and go to college you can continue to drive automobiles and make payments on a mortgage... That's not reality! That's as make believe as Barney. So I don't know what to say to kids but I'm sorry.. I'm sorry you don't stand a chance unless EVERYTHING changes immediately and I'm sorry no one will tell you this until it's far too late for you to do anything about it and by then you'll be just as addicted to consumerism as I am and you too will try to pretend you're not angry and everything is will be fine if you just find a mate and breed your own family and feed them Disney and forget about any other responsibility because they are you're everything....

Oops. Think that's enough tinder for one day. 

Signed

~ the bitter crazy cat lady

so let it burn!